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Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Daddy's Girl?

"Daddy’s love is a basic need of any human. Everybody needs a dad.

A father is like a compass for a child. A compass shows us where we are headed and it gives us an orientation of the world. Dad – that is what we do for our kids.

Take daddy away and our child loses a great sense of where they are and who they can become." - Dennis Sy


A friend say's "If you are the only daughter, then you must be a daddy's girl". At one point in my life I am, but not anymore. Every child needs a
FATHER is what they say, but if your father is a alcoholic and at the same time has no job and one night while you're sleeping you saw your father crawls on the bed with a dagger and threatening your mom that he will kill her, then NO THANK YOU I DON'T NEED A FATHER.

BEWARE: this is a true story

I can still remember when I was a little girl, I almost burn down the house, i was playing with
matches (lighter consisting of a thin piece of wood or cardboard tipped with combustible chemical; ignites with friction), lightning it and throwing it to the trash bin full of papers, suddenly a fire burst out in the trash bin, I was shock in horror and stay still for seconds until my papa walk in the room and saw the fire, he immediately went down and when he came back he was holding a basin full of water and pour it to the fire. The fire was gone when he walks towards me and ask if I'm okay and that if I'm hurt, I hugged him and cried while saying sorry and ask him not to tell mama, because I know she will get really mad if she finds out, he said "it's okay baby don't cry, this will be our secret", he let me promise to not play with matches ever again. When mama arrived from work, while eating dinner, she ask what happened to our ceiling because there are still water dripping from upstairs, papa said that he was cleaning, mopping the floor and accidentally knock off the pail of water, i don't know if mama believes him, or if papa told her what really happen, I didn't bother to ask, because I felt that I got away with all the sermon and "kurot" from my mom, so why bother ask right? hahaha.. (lol)

Moths later, my baby brother was born, we are all happy. Papa is unemployed. Mama works in the government. Papa became alcoholic, maybe because mama is the only one whose working, maybe it hit his "male ego". One night, me, mama and baby brother are sleeping in one bed while papa is sleeping outside because he is drunk again and mama don't want him to be around the baby. I was asleep when I felt the bed move a bit, when I open my eyes, I was horrified and scared of what I saw! Papa is holding a dagger and threatening mama that he will kill her! I was like crying and afraid of what might happen, I immediately hug my mama so tight and begging papa to stop.... stop.... stop.... in my young mind, i said to myself, I have seen the devil and he is my father. Good thing my uncle was (my papa's brother) there and heard my crying, he immediately went to papa and stopped him, mama got up and hugged me and went outside the room.

Mama was worried because we forgot to bring my baby brother outside with us. Mama begun crying, after a minute she was relieved to see my baby brother, he is safe, my uncle is carrying him when he went out of the room where my papa is. That night, mama decided to leave papa, we packed our things and made our way to our grandparent's house. From the night my father did that, I begun to hate him.

I don't know if I already forgive him for what he did, it is almost like, 21 years ago when that happen, one things for sure is that, that memory is still very CLEAR in my mind.


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